Flying Solo

My mom left today. She's headed for beautiful Hawaii to hang out with her sister for the weekend and then she'll be back on a plane for Guam. She has come out like this for every one of my children when they were born, but this time she didn't stay for a whole month, just a couple of weeks. It was noticeably different, but I'm just glad that she came at all.

So today is my first day flying solo during the day while my husband is at work. It's not totally solo because he still takes the kids to school every morning and gets the mail and does the grocery shopping and leaves the kids with the fear of fire and brimstone if they don't do their chores or bug me in any way while he is gone. And also all the kids are home sick with some kind of congestion or cough, but they're still good for running to get me things around the house.

Even Zoe is a bit snorty, but she's still able to nurse, thank goodness. I've never had a breastfed baby get sick so soon, but then again, I've never had so many kids going to school when I've had a baby. Clearly, the antibodies in breast milk are not a flawless protection from illness, but I still think that she would be way worse if she were not breastfed.

I'm happy to say that I haven't cried out in frustration once. Zoe has remained true to her current routine of waking up every four hours to eat. She has stayed asleep every time I have put her down, and I am still able to take care of my other kids. AND I'm off my heavy medication... last night I was four hours late taking my pill and didn't notice, so I think I'm OK to stop taking them until I feel like I need one. So far. so good.

My visiting teachers came by and brought dinner and cookies and a gift. I'm lucky that one of them is a nurse who actually takes care of newborns in the hospital where she works. She is the one that informed me that the reason why Zoe got formula for her first meal in the nursery is because she was a big baby... when babies are 8 pounds 9 ounces or bigger their blood sugar can drop dramatically after they come out of the mommy, so the nurses just give them a little bit of formula to keep their blood sugar up. She used some fancy word for this, but I don't remember what it was.

For those of you who don't know, visiting teachers are a couple of ladies who are members of the Relief Society (largest and oldest women's organization) who come to your house each month to visit you. They prepare a short gospel lesson, ask how they can serve you, and report back to the Relief Society on how you're doing. It's a way to watch and care for each member of the Relief Society, and it's fun to get visits or phone calls and little reminders that you are loved and cared for.

I love visiting teaching because when I am given certain sisters to visit it gives me the opportunity to be friends with women I may not normally be friends with. I once visited a lady 50 years older than me and we became emailing buddies. She would give me advice from her vast experience of living, and I would astound her with my great listening abilities. Seriously, have you ever noticed how listening gets you the highest praise? You become the best person in the world because you listen and care. I'm glad for the opportunity to make friends in this way and it's fun to serve!

Susie isn't my visiting teacher, but already a good friend who happens to be a really good cook. She has brought us dinner twice already and plans to do it again tomorrow night. There's no stopping her. She's amazing. The first night she made a yummy Monterey Chicken and Rice Casserole and the second night she brought Stuffed Shells. And don't forget kolache rolls and Banana Split Cake. YUM! Susie also brought a teddy bear and candy to me in the hospital.

All the grandparents in Port A/Corpus sent yellow roses to us in the hospital--yellow roses are extra special in Texas. Josh's work sent mini roses in the mail... that was really cool. They are so pretty, too. My other visiting teacher brought homemade bread and a big bouquet of flowers shortly after we got home from the hospital.

My friend Ruth Ann brought dinner last night... very simple... spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread, salad, green beans, and snickerdoodles. Seth ate two plates worth. I'm not sure if it's because it was right up his alley or if he's feeling better from being sick... probably both. The thing that gets me is that Ruth Ann has six kids... and she still brought dinner to us in the storming rain... that just humbles me.

Our old friends, the Bowens, brought dinner on Saturday... Spinach and Cheese Manicotti was a hit... funny how we are getting lots of pasta dishes. They are my favorite and I haven't been doing a lot of pasta for dinner lately because Josh isn't as fond of pasta as I am... but he has enjoyed the different variations we've received in the past week or so, we may yet convert him. Brooke and Justin also brought Christmas gifts and more baby gifts. They also drove over an hour to get to our house. Talk about devotion! We love you, man!

And finally, the Relief Society president in our ward brought dinner, too, on short notice. Not only that, but she made Chicken Enchiladas, salad, lemony poppy muffins, and brownies all on the same day that she was leaving to go out of town. How's that for dedication?

All of these examples of service leave me grateful for people who live their religion... they do it out of love for their God... that's the bottom line. I mean, I know I'm a likeable person, but it's the love of the Savior Jesus Christ that motivates them. And again, it's fun! Doing a service for others is good for your heart and makes you feel good. And I really needed this.

At first, I gave everyone the impression that we could handle everything and we didn't need anything, but I was surprised by my need to depend on someone to give just a little bit of relief when we first got home. If I had not had the weird experience I had on my first night of coming home, I don't think I would have asked for help. I'm glad that I did, and I'm glad that people responded.

THANK YOU!!

Yeah, I'm not really flying solo at all, am I?

1 Week Anniversary

I am not ashamed to say that today I slept through the anniversary hour of our baby's arrival into this world one week ago today. That's the perfect way to celebrate, I think. Especially since I have not slept this many hours at once in my own bed for the entire week (three whole hours!!).

At 12:57 PM last Saturday I was alert and viewing everything happening around me with awe. The first thing that was different about this whole experience was that I walked to the OR. Who does that? For my past three c-sections, I have been drugged and prepped and wheeled to the OR for surgery. I have had psychedelic dreams (seriously, light show and all) while under the influence and barely able to keep my eyes open for when the baby makes it to the outside of my body. In this instance, the scary thing was not being unaware of what people were doing to take care of me, but being all too aware of what they were doing to me. I didn't know if I wanted to be able to take in so much information. What if I couldn't take it? The room I walked into was large with windows on one end, equipment in the center of the room, and just about everything was white. I kept fighting the feeling to slow down... we were really going to just go for it.

The nurse who had admitted us was there to help me keep me still when I got the epidural. She had been carrying around what I had thought was her purse, but she laughed and informed me that it was my "purse" which contained Demerol and would be my epidural pump. I learned that I would keep my epidural in until my last day in the hospital. That was also a new thing for me. I didn't know you could do that. I even had a "clicker" for when I felt I needed extra medication. I could click the button once per hour and get an extra dose of Margaritaville. Erroneously, I thought that I was supposed to click the button every hour or else I would get nothing... so the first couple of days, until it was reiterated to me that medicine was constantly being fed through my epidural, I was pretty loopy. I stopped clicking altogether because within minutes, I would be asleep or be dozing in the middle of a conversation with Josh. The nurse said that it would not make me as drowsy since the meds wouldn't be going into my blood stream, and my doc said it wouldn't make me drowsy, but the clicker and my own experience taught me that lah lah land was not too far away once I clicked the clicker.

So I'll spare you the details of the epidural... suffice it to say that my husband could not be in the room and the nurse said I had a pretty good grip on her arm. I think I probably should have said sorry at that point, but I don't think I did. I was too busy being tilted on my head by the anesthesiologist (going to shorten it to anes from here on out) who was trying to speed things up. They just kind of lie you on the table, flip up your gown over the wire that keeps you from seeing past your chest, and then everybody gets down to business. It's a weird thing to be so exposed and not have anybody react as they would in a different setting. I think I was being shaved when the doctor walked in and said hello... it was strange, strange, strange! He then said hello to everybody, introduced me to his assistant, did a little pep talk to the group, and then they all continued about their business. The anes was the main communicator and he was very high spirited... like a motivational speaker... and he was constantly reassuring me about how things would happen and they wouldn't do anything without informing me first. The nurse stepped out to get my husband and he was equally impressed with the room and then they really did just go for it.

Josh was very excited to be able to get most of everything that happened on video. He even got her being pulled out of my belly and taking her first breath. That kind of stuff just thrills him. I don't think he got that on any other child and I don't think he actually saw them come out of me except for maybe Zack. He was very excited throughout the whole thing. I remember everything clearly. I even remember the way it smelled when they started to cut me open with a kind of hot knife. Josh was really impressed. I would rather not talk about it. Give me a few more months.

On my first c-section, my mom reminds me that no one could come near me. I didn't remember that. I wouldn't let anyone touch me and to talk about it brought tears to my eyes and I had to leave the room. It was a very traumatic experience. So different from this last one. Talk about progress, both in medicine and in my own attitude and experience.

In previous deliveries, I was mostly in lah lah land and would wake up in another part of the hospital not knowing how or when I got there. The one thing I always remember, however, is the first sounds my babies make when they come out. That first cry invokes deep feelings of love and wonder and it's the only time a cry does that to me. This part was the same this time, but I was able to see and hear clearly without the fog. And then they take the baby away and keep them for four hours. I didn't know that... and this time I was anxious to see her again. I kept asking Josh how much longer for the four hours to be up. Plus, we were just in recover waiting for a room to open up. We didn't know how long it would be. Josh even joked about going to find a lowly stable because we knew even before we went back to the operating room that there was no room at the inn.

We finally did get our private room, and Josh loaded me up with juices and water and ice chips from the patient fridge by the nurses station. He took really good care of me the first night. Oh, yeah, and another thing that was different was that they put these shin guard things on your legs, plug them in, and they squeeze like a blood pressure thingy. Back and forth, over and over again... it's to help with your circulation. It was getting really annoying after the first day, and then when they took them off, Josh gave me the best scratch. Oh! Just remembering it makes the endorphins flow! My husband really stepped up this time, and I draw a lot of strength knowing he's thinking about me and my welfare. I sometimes forget that he is going through a lot along with me... I don't know if I could handle seeing him go in for surgery every time to grow our family, but he handles it very well.

My mom is a big help also. She's like a soldier, standing ready and willing to burp baby, change diapers, and hold baby until she sleeps. She's will wake up no matter the hour and do this over and over again. Just today, when Zoe decides that she's a big seven days old and no one can tell her to sleep if she doesn't want to but she really wants to sleep and if mommy could just keep nursing her every hour all will be well... my mom took her and told me to go shower. Man, that was the best shower ever! If I were by myself, I probably would have broken down and cried at that point. (The baby crying thing only invokes wonder on the first minute of the first day of delivery and then the honeymoon is over. You moms know what I'm talkin' 'bout.)

So I'm feeling good today... rested... clean... blogged... and looking forward to getting another week under my belt. My tummy will go down more, the nursing thing is already getting easier, and the true test of new parenthood will ensue with my mom returning home in five days' time. In one more week I'll be able to see that I can do this. That Heavenly Father designed incredible bodies. That time does heal.

Thanks to all who said a prayer, had a thought, spoke out loud, or brought gifts (food and otherwise) for us during this time. It is really nice to have family and friends to share this experience with!

And Joyeux Anniversaire au Zoe! We're happy you're finally here!

Zoe-Zo

Seth already has a nickname for Zoe. When he came home from school the first day after we got home, Nana Koko opened the door and he said, "How's Zoe?" It tickles me how all the kids come home and just look for her. They want to touch her and hold her and play with her (which doesn't always bode well for a Guamanian grandmother who takes her job seriously). They jump at the chance to help change her or watch her, and I imagine that Zoe will grow up always having a crowd around her watching her every new move.

And then just the other day Seth was talking to Zoe and calling her Zoe-Zo. I think it was when it was bedtime and he said, "Goodnight Zoe-Zo." The name has stuck in my head. Now when I try to wake her up to eat (because breastfeeding is the only self-inflicted pain I am motivated to engage in) I sing silly songs to her and that's what I call her.

Come to think of it... I use other Sethisms with her. Seth used to come into my room to wake me up and say, "Mommy, wake up. It's gebbup time." I tell Zoe the same thing now when it's time for her to get up. "Wake up, Zoe-Zo! It's gebbup time!" And then I follow that with pleas to help Mommy and deep breathing exercises just before she latches on.

She comes through for me most of the time. We've almost got the boobs trained... and hope that they get a clue to calm down because they're only feeding Zoe and not an army. Zoe has got the latch on thing down pat and it doesn't hurt so much when we do the football hold on one side and then regular hold on the other. Still, if I were a cartoon, you'd see me hitting myself over the head with a giant wooden hammer at the start of each nursing session. And then I do it all over again every 2-3 hours. That's true love, people.

Now a minute for my commercial sponsor... (not really, but it's going to sound like one). My Mom found a bracelet in the stash of things that she brought from Guam from my Auntie Bobbie Bobo. She's the auntie that has brainwashed all my kids to answer her name when they are asked, "Who's your favorite auntie?" Anyway, she's delighted to add another victim to sing her praises... and lucky for me, she has had two grandbaby girls in the last year... so Zoe scored a lot of stuff... Thanks Auntie Bobbie! (And cousins Nicole and Corine.)

OK, so back to the bracelet. It's called a milk band and it's made of rubber. There are two sets of holes running down it and one side is labeled from 1 to 12 and the other 5 to 60 (by fives). There are two pegs to place into the holes which look like little barbels. You have to pull and stretch the bracelet to get the pegs in. One side of the bracelet says "RIGHT" and the other says "LEFT". It helps you keep track of when you last fed baby and what side you ended on. I LOVE this thing!

Pre-bracelet, at practically every feeding I had to ask my mom what side I was on. Both boobs are equally engorged, but if given the wrong one first and Zoe decides to sleep, then I'm doomed. It's an important thing to alternate them accurately. Now I just look at the bracelet like it's a watch (and it's probably the only time I really care about at this stage of the game) and I can see how long it has been since I last fed baby. So when I work up the courage to feed baby again, I just flip the bracelet after one side, move the pegs and then I don't have to think about it anymore. It's great! The less things I have to think about under the influence of pain medication is a load off my back.

I checked out the website: www.milkbands.com and if you go there you'll see that they have improved on their design and they now use sliders. I guess it got to be a pain replacing pegs... so they got something that just stays on the bracelet. But half the challenge for me is making sure I don't drop the peg. It's like having a built-in game... and so far I'm winning. Anything to help improve post partum morale is a bonus. So my bracelet is vintage. I think mine is more decorative, too, with the pegs sticking out like cloves in a ham, only prettier.

Psyche!

She is still on the inside.

Remember the 80's? And the movie Sixteen Candles? The part where they are all getting in the car to go to the wedding and it's chaos with everyone changing places and getting in and out of the car until they are finally all in makes me a little stressed out just watching them. And then they pull out of the driveway only to discover Long Duck Dong on the grass and they all get back out of the car again. It makes me laugh because you know it's going to take them forever to all get back in the car.

We resembled that part of the movie today... a little. Mom and I went out to install the carseat, the kids followed, then my brother and then Josh. We had the base of the carseat in with locking clip finally installed (those things are tough to get on). And then we put the stroller in the back with the carseat on top because we discovered that the carseat was too big to fit behind the driver's seat. So we had to take the base out. And then we tried to decide if we should take two cars or not. Josh won because he's always about having options and having two cars would allow him the option of leaving if he had to go and get something for me later. His decision saved us today, but I'll get to that.

So we decided that it was worth the parking fees to have both cars. And then we decided who would ride with him, and it ended up being Sarah (after she had just gotten in a little fight with Seth over who would get to sit where). Then there was the question of whether or not I should drive, and I won that one by just getting in the driver's side. Then Josh had to document everything with the camcorder. He said he would follow me, so at last I put the key in the ignition and backed out. I drove down the street and then stopped because he wasn't following. In my rear view mirror I watched him finally put the camcorder away, then get in the car, and then then get out of the car and go inside the house. Finally, when he was ready and back in the truck, we were able to get a move on.

The drive down was uneventful and traffic was good. I made sure that my brother was paying attention so that he would know how to get there. We were able to get parking spots right near each other (which isn't important since we were going to stay and they weren't, but it was still nice). We wandered around the first floor of the hospital looking for admitting... never having been told to go straight to the third floor to Labor and Delivery. We took the elevators farthest from where we ended up, but once we got there we were greeted by a nice nurse. She said that I could take one person with me and that I had to kiss everyone else good-bye right then and there. So I started hugging and kissing my kids and doing exactly as I was told.

Josh and I went our way, and they went their's (but my brother did come back later because I forgot to give him the keys to the van and the house). The first thing I did was get undressed and into the wonderful hospital gown that opens at the back. The nurse gave me a nice new pair of ugly brown socks to put on, too. Then I sat in a warm cozy chair and she hooked me up to the monitor. Baby's heartbeat was the background noise while I signed papers and she asked me questions and input everything into a computer. She even brought in an IV and was going to stick me with it eventually. But she asked the fated question instead... "Did you eat anything today?" I sure did... I ate the One-Eyed Egyptian that my husband lovingly made for me. "What time was that?" Just before we came, around 11am. She stopped and said that she would need to check with Anaesthesia before we could continue. She said that they had sent a lady home because she had had a glass of milk within 8 hours of surgery.

Josh and I were like, "Doh!" We thought we were old pros at this, but forgot that one detail about not eating before surgery. To be fair, the doctor's office failed to remind me and that's probably why the doc wasn't mad at us... he shared the blame. We braced ourselves for the news, and I was a little disappointed at first. And then I was relieved because I had originally wanted to schedule the surgery for Saturday, but they wouldn't let me. And I was a little worried about an afternoon c-section and would rather do it in the morning. Well, that's exactly what I'll be getting. I'll be going in tomorrow at 10am and this time I am not supposed to eat or drink anything after midnight.

Honestly, I wasn't ready today. I was tired. I had wanted to get a good night's rest, but had stayed up playing Rummikub with my mom and brother. We were having fun and I told myself that I would get rest when I was drugged up, but maybe I had put myself at a disadvantage for a better recovery.

Now I can get the rest I need and for Zoe's last day inside we went shopping at Fry's. It's a good thing that we had the truck because we met everybody at the Whataburger outside Fry's, ate lunch, and then went shopping. Nana bought the kids a new Wii game, Raymond Raving Rabbids 2. We got a new router, a DVD drive/recorder for my computer, and another guitar for Guitar Hero III... (Sarah and Josh are getting ready to battle for the first time as I type). Josh was trying to get a second guitar for a long time, but couldn't find them anywhere. He was shocked to see one sitting on the shelf and guarded it with his life or put it in Sarah's care to guard with her life for the rest of the time we were there. We thought it was the last one, but we saw a few others later on in a different area. Josh is very happy (and they're having fun now). Today was a great day.

I'm especially glad because now I have less to visualize... today was like a trial run. Now we don't have to do the Chinese fire drill to get into the car. Josh and I can leave everyone at home, and everyone can come when it's time to see baby later. My bro now knows the way. The kids can hang out with Nana and Uncle Doo in comfort.

So all of you that were expecting a call and didn't get one... we apologize! We will call you tomorrow!

17-hours Til Baby

It's almost time! Life is about to change... in just hours. And what am I doing with my last night of a good night's sleep? Right now I'm waiting for dinner. Yep... I know it's late... we had a slow start tonight... half the adults are jet lagged. Doo is making spam, onions, cut green beans in tomato sauce, Mom made a salad with mangoes sliced in it, and I made the rice. Sarah, Zack and Josh are playing Guitar Hero III and Seth fell asleep on the couch. All the while we are chatting, telling stories, making each other laugh.

Today I got a bunch of calls from different friends/family wishing me good luck and to say they are there if I need anything and that I'm in their prayers. It's so nice to be thought of. I'll have to remember to keep this happy thought in my head when I'm getting wheeled to the OR... and I get a little anxious.

This will be our first experience delivering a baby in Texas. Being our fourth child, you would think we have lots of experience under our belts, but it's still kind of weird not knowing what to expect exactly. Going to the hospital is still an unknown. I know we have to show up two hours early and fill out paperwork, but I've never done it at this hospital, so it's all pretty vague. I am used to visualizing how my day will go... probably leftovers from being taught to visualize yourself hitting the ball in sports... and I can't think past 3:00 pm.

Susie helps me out by pointing out that it's only hours away that I'll be holding a baby. She said, "It's not even a day anymore, Trish, it's like hours.." And then I get excited and try to picture it, but I still have so much to do!

Dinner is ready, though, and I need to eat! Maybe I'll blog some more tomorrow. Or not. You'll get a call from us when baby is on the outside.

You Know Your Feet Are Swollen When Your Crocs Are Tight

Awww man! I messed up my blog-a-day streak! It's all Susie's fault. We tried to make 240 little Sizzix die cut people for our latest Primary venture. By the time we called it quits... at around 1:30am, we still had 106 left to do. I'll continue with the cutting and gluing later... for now, she has enough to get by this month.

So now It's way after midnight and I'm checking out my new and improved (tripled RAM memory and new "fatty" 500Gb Hard Drive) computer that Josh installed tonight... like without even breaking a sweat. I revere his geek gene that he has nurtured since the day we were married. (Seriously, he used our loot from the money dance at our wedding reception to buy our first computer.) Believe it or not, there was once a time when I knew more about computers than he did. Laughable, I know! Unbelievable, I know! In human growth terms, he went from zygote to teen wonder in less than a year. I served my time (hanging out at computer stores, going to sleep with him still surfing the net--with dial up no less, and watching him spend $20 on one CD to burn and dying inside when it didn't take because he would have to buy another one), and now I am reaping the benefits. We got great deals at Fry's today and my boss agreed to pay for it... woo hoo! And I am marveling at the speed at my fingertips. I feel like Flash Gordon... I'm singing the Queen song in my head.... Flash... Ah-aahhhHH! Savior of the Universe!

Now I have no excuse... I have to get those other calendars done. I did three today, so that leaves five more. I can do it. I think I can, I think I can.

I'm so ready to pop! I had three contractions in a 20-minute period today at the doctor's office. They put me on a monitor and I had to click the clicker every time I felt baby move. I was clicking away and the nurse commented about how the baby was moving around like a "jumping jelly bean." (It doesn't look so good in print, but she was a black lady and she quipped it with conviction and flare, so I decided to write it anyway.) And then the doctor said that the baby "is looking really good." He was a little bugged that I have been skipping testing my blood a lot, but only three more days of this and hopefully I can eat whatever I want!!

OK, who am I kidding? I've already been eating whatever I want lately... within reason... most of the time. But I think mostly, I haven't been eating. I get busy doing something and pretty soon it's noon and I haven't eaten breakfast. So then I go down whatever is quick... protein or not. And I can't seem to keep drinking water. That's why my crocs are tight. Especially on my left foot. My entire left leg looks 15% bigger than my right. I wonder why. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that it hurts in the "hmm hmm" to stand on that leg by itself. It has been like that for months, but the swelling only started in the last three weeks. And if I wore anything on my nose, it would be tight, too... my nose is totally swollen.

I took pictures of all this, but I don't want to gross you out. Some family members have already been "treated" to a picture of my naked belly with stretch marks and darkened belly button. I think I've said enough here.

Can She Do It?

Josh and I are meeting up in the living room to watch a show in a bit, but in the meantime I am supposed to be working and getting lots done! Guess what I've been doing? Emailing, looking at google maps so that I can map my shopping route after my doctor appointment tomorrow, checking out the links Josh emailed me on what to buy for my computer.... I've been doing everything except work.

And what can I possibly have to do for work on my last week with the big belly? Let's see... I've finished all the write up for the Grapevine. Luckily, Josh rescued a bunch of files from my "sleeps with the fishes" hard drive and I didn't have to do them all over again. Amen and amen... work has agreed to buy me a new hard drive--yahoo! It pays to live with the geek squad. So now all I gotta do is make a calendar for Vacaville, Fairfield, Dixon, Benicia, San Ramon, Pleasanton, Livermore, and Rocklin... yep, ladies and gents... that's 8 calendars by Wednesday (my original lofty goal... but it will probably be more like Thursday). Can she do it, folks? Cast your votes or say a prayer for her! And I'll be sure to keep you posted.

But that's not all! There's a little bit of write up for Rocklin to do, but not much. I'll probably do stuff for that book post baby. Oh, and don't forget that I'm still trying to get approval from a client on embroidery for my big order of the year... hopefully we can begin production this week. And I have to remember to pay sales taxes before the month is up.

Other than that, I'm good. Oh, but I do have a presidency meeting tomorrow night... more like a passing of the torch to the capable ladies that serve with me in the Primary presidency. And then I also agreed to watch a squishy baby boy and his sister (a new sunbeam!) tomorrow night at the same time. My kids adore them, so I figure I can get in a quick hug or two and then let them play while we have a meeting.

My kids cleaned their bathroom today, so I think we're looking good on that end for my mom and bro to come, but I still have to go in and inspect just to be sure. Then I have to tackle my bathroom... Let's see... laundry is done... dishes could use some attention... house is in order... desk area is still clean (can you believe it?!)... and so I think I'm doing OK. Oh! And I have to get over this cold... getting cut open and coughing just doesn't go well together, you know?

And allelujah, the kids go back to school tomorrow! Oh Happy Day! They are so ready to get a life, too. Seth said on the first day of break, "I want to go to school and learn." It was funny because he said it in a weird high pitched voice with a serious, raised eyebrow look. Kids need purpose in their lives, too. We have to get them out of the house and enough of the chocolates and treats already! The holidays are over!

But Susie did bring me some yummy bon bons tonight. She made oreo truffles and was kind enough to share. The note said that they were the last family night treat as a family of five. Awww! She's so amazing. We didn't even do family night tonight... us slackers, but we sure enjoyed the treat!

Hormones / Steve-O / Sunbeams

I don't know what to blog about, but I have a list of different things to choose from. So I guess I'll just talk about all of them.

Today was fast and testimony meeting at church which is usually every first Sunday. Members of the ward are encouraged to stand and express their knowledge of the divinity of Jesus Christ, that he lives and guides our church, and having tested a principle of the gospel they have expanded their knowledge of the truthfulness of the doctrine. Lots of times, people cry. Sharing the deepest feelings of your heart will invite the Holy Spirit to the meeting, touching hearts, and being made manifest in tears. People may talk about being prompted by the Spirit to get up and share their testimony, but today that feeling did not come to me. I was happy to be sitting with my family listening to even the littlest of Primary children get up and say that the gospel is true and that they love their families. This in turn, creates an upward spiral of testimony bearing since even the youngest testimony has weight with the Spirit.

Like I said, I was sitting and listening when a wealth of hormones was released and I was practically bawling. One of the Primary teachers was the last to go up, and almost before she reached the podium, I could feel the tears behind my eyes. I knew that she had just lost her father on Christmas Day and I was feeling the emotion I knew she would feel when she spoke the words. Because I have a cold and decided not to take medication before church (by choice to avoid the yucky feeling I knew I would have), the tears caused my sinuses to open the floodgates so that when I inhaled, it was audible and several people looked over at me. I could not contain the swelling in my heart for this dear sister. My father dying is a familiar childhood nightmare that I cannot remember without feelings of terror and devastation. And yet, this sister said her tears were those of happiness knowing that she will see her father, her best friend, again someday.

I was almost too exhausted emotionally to continue with the rest of our church meetings (for me, that means Primary for two hours). But I was able to teach Sharing Time about how we are created in our Heavenly Father's image. I just want to mention that our Music Leader is inspired and wonderful. She sings like an angel and loves to sing and teaches the children by example how tangible the Spirit can be after singing. She made my lesson go the extra mile and it was one of the most spiritual moments in Primary for me. I'm speaking mainly of the Senior Primary Sharing Time.

The Junior Primary Sharing Time was the exact same lesson, but having brand new Sunbeams (3 year olds) in Primary for the first time was like trying to contain a bunch of monkeys in a box. One in particular was outspoken and uninhibited and interrupted every chance she got. It made me smile and laugh a few times and remember why Primary is the best place to be in the church. You cannot get this level of entertainment in Relief Society. There are twins in the Sunbeam class, too, and they sang their hearts out today... I Am a Child of God was heard throughout the building. And I am happy that it is the theme for this year because it reminds me of when I first met the Sister Missionaries and was sent on this spiritual journey that has brought so much happiness into my life.

So today was a good day. I waddled around, got lots of well wishes for a safe delivery, lots of offers of babysitting and service. And I was glad that I went to church today. It never fails that if you do what is right, you'll always feel good that you did it.

And finally, I want to wish my brother Steve a Happy Belated Birthday. He turned 26 on Friday. He's the middle of the trio of children that were each born one year apart, all in the month of January. So my youngest brother Shawn is turning 25 on Thursday and then my sister will be 27 on the 26th. I am happy to be adding Zoe's birthday to their birthday month (we usually stack things up in December... tax breaks, you know) and I could have chosen Shawn's birthday for Zoe, but decided that everyone should have their own day.

What's funny about my youngest three siblings is that my three children resemble their personalities so much. They are 2 1/2 years apart, but they follow the same gender order. My daughter is smart and slobby like my sister (sorry Chole, it's just a side effect of your genius, I'm sure). Zack is the risk taker, therefore the most talented (and busted up), just like his Uncle Steve. Seth is the independent one who walks to the drum of his own beat and doesn't really care to perform to anyone's desires... and Shawn is just as easy going and carefree.

Now I will throw a Zoe into the midst, but being six years from Seth and eleven years from Sarah, there's no predicting what she'll be like or if she will resemble anyone in my family. I'm sure we'll draw our own conclusions and Josh's side will definitely come into play. I'm not really thinking that far ahead... I'm still grasping with the idea that come Friday I will exchange an awkward waddle to the bathroom in the middle of the night for a slow, standing, stomach-with-incision, drug induced walk every three hours of the day and night.

Speaking of which.... I gotta go. No really, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

I Need a New Hard Drive

Josh has been working tirelessly on recovering the pictures, but it seems that my entire hard drive has decided to show its age. He is now trying to recover everything on it - - including work files, church files, and basically my whole life for the past year. Please let all his skills make it work!!

Other than that bit of unpleasantness, today was a rather rewarding day. I was able to wake up on time and be at the church to set up for our first Primary Quarterly Activity of the year -- Meet Your Teacher Breakfast. The newest members of the Primary presidency were there as promised and ready to rock. I just love these women already. Josh set up 9 round tables practically on his own, and we put tablecloths and chairs out. Sarah and Zack were helpful putting up table tents and Articles of Faith cards at each setting. Susie came a little later after having baked from scratch 80 sausage and cheese kolaches. She also brought orange wedges, pineapple rings, and grapes. We were fortunate enough to get leftover orange rolls that our former Nursery leader made because of a youth planning meeting that took place at the same time.

We had a pretty big turn out with 31 children showing up in pajamas. Our music leader did an excellent job introducing the theme for the year, and the teachers seemed to enjoy getting to know their new classes. I am especially grateful for dedicated teachers that come every Sunday prepared to teach and love the children.

We had plenty of help cleaning up, and then after the closing prayer, the children went home and the teachers stayed for a Teacher Improvement meeting. I thought it went very well. I feel like we will all mesh well this year and have success in our goals for Primary. Of course, I'm leaving everything in the capable hands of Susie and the new counselor and new secretary for this month, but I am feeling really excited about what the coming year has in store. I am passed being completely paralyzed with fear of being the president, and I feel like I'll do better and make less mistakes.

There are still some issues to take care of, but I know that all the challenges I face are no surprise to Heavenly Father, and he would not have put me here if he didn't think I could do some good and learn a lot along the way. He trusts me with the teaching of his little ones, so I have to trust that he knows what he's doing and try not to mess up!

I took a good long nap when I got home and after Susie brought by some cinnamon rolls that she made from scratch. They were so good! And she was so good to think of us. I can't say enough about how much she rocks. I'm so happy that she's past her morning sickness and back to her normal self.

After my nap, I went through the coupons I bought. I haven't bought newspapers since mid-December. There were a lot this week. So then I dragged Sarah to Kroger with me (since Susie wasn't answering... must have hit the sack early after all her baking). I got $211 worth of stuff for $122. Not quite 50% off, but a good run all the same. I'm especially happy about getting a package of diapers for $5 and a thing of wipes for $1.

We start church at 2:30pm tomorrow. It will be weird, but nice that I have all day to prepare my Sharing Time lesson.

Now I have to go do some breathing exercises or get in a better position... Zoe is starting her aerobics/yoga session now.

Computer Gods -- Where art thou?

I'm blogging from the laptop while my desktop computer gets an overhaul. My geek squad husband is rescuing some files that have mysteriously disappeared. Or have they? They're playing hide and seek. We'll see what we can recover.

My mom doesn't read my blog, I don't think. So I'll tell you a secret... I'm going to see how she feels about giving me her super duper really nice laptop. She bought it last Christmas when she was here and I'm taking lessons from Josh.... I talk her into giving me the "obsolete" year-old computer and then she can get a "nice, new shiny one" when she gets here next week.

I'm on the phone with her right now feeling her out. She's currently laughing in my face. And now she's telling me that she wants a camcorder. OK... I'll have to try another route... tears? crying? nah, that never works with parents. Maybe the trick will be just getting her to bring it... and then we take a trip to Fry's and see what's out there and maybe she'll see something she likes. And I'll be in the right place at the right time... yeah, baby.

Shameless! I wasn't going to blog about this. I was actually trying to post pictures of the boys' haircuts... that Josh did! I helped, but it was pretty much mostly Josh. They look good.

Gotta go. More later.

The Heat is ON!

Josh finally turned the heat on last night. And yet, the smell of deer corn pervades the household because the kids are really into taking a corn bag to bed with them. Even Josh succumbed and took one to bed last night. I was shocked because he really doesn't like the way they smell. I think they smell like warm milk and Seth thinks they smell like popcorn. I like how you can take one to bed and keep it under the covers and it's still warm in the morning. That's some serious heat retention.

We got our first deer corn bag last Christmas from our friends, the Bowens. At the time, I did a google search and found a good site where the lady had researched different materials to make into a heatable bag for the nursing home where she worked. Deer corn was ideal because it didn't rot and has a natural hole in the kernels so that they don't pop, and her research led to the use of uniform sized bags that could be heated in one minute and given out to residents. I can't find the site now, which is too bad, but now I see that there are a lot of people making and selling these bags online now. I had to really dig last year, and now they're everywhere.

Next time we go to Port A, we'll stop at a place that sells a 50 pound bag for $5 and get another bag. The only downfall to that great deal is using up the bag before the weevils move into the bag.

And that's my post for January 3, 2008... I'm doing well, huh? Keeping up with my resolution... only we'll see what the time stamp turns out to be because the computer says it's after midnight... It would be nice if blogspot is late. So here goes nothing....

Sick Anyway

Well, I got sick anyway... Last night my nose would not stop and today my throat hurts. Just a cold, but so annoying! I called in sick to my pregnancy check up doc appointment... was not looking forward to driving downtown with three kids. Josh stayed home and took care of me.

Now just because I feel useless... doesn't mean I was completely useless today. I got some things done for JNT Productions (my almost extinct business which is slowly coming back to life) organized emails from the office (my day job), and did some stuff for Primary (my church calling). The biggest thing I did was clean up my desk. Everything was migrating to different piles on the floor and taking over my room. So I'm posting my before and after shots of my desk area.



Before Picture: I took a picture of Seth (who is badly in need of a haircut) sitting in my chair and you can see the madness all over behind him. He's wrapped in his new fleece blanket and holding the stuffed Panda Express bear that Zack picked out for me for Christmas. I suppose he thought I needed one because they all have one. And it's funny because they come into my room to get it and play with it and then bring it back when they're done, so maybe they just wanted another panda bear...?

Story of the Panda Bears: When we went to Sig's wedding, her mom gave each of my children a stuffed panda bear that coincided with their ages. It was kind of a thank you for being in the wedding (Sarah was a flower girl and Zack was ring bearer). Seth's is like a roley poley baby bear which he named Cheerio Cereal Haley. Zack's is a little older and he named it Zinny Eyeball Haley. Sarah's is biggest and oldest and she named it Cherry Berry Haley.




After Picture: Clean desk! Still crazy with the wires hanging down the back, but lots of leg room and we're able to walk near the desk without threat of avalanche.

It feels good to be able to sit at my desk now. Getting things cleaned up is a good way to relieve stress and also a good effort towards making this year a less stressful one. We'll see how long I can keep my desk like this. I'll post a picture of it when it gets crazy again (it's inevitable) and we'll document how many days I kept up with my New Year's resolution.

Happy New Year!

For New Year's Eve we had planned to go over to our friends' house to light fireworks. They live on the cul de sac to covet where all the neighbors hang out and BBQ and do block parties and all the kids play together. They love their neighbors over there, and we were happy to be invited, but at the last minute, they warned us that they had been sick and we decided not to go. Plus, me being pregnant and it being cold outside... I was actually just looking forward to staying close to home--I'm such an old lady, I know. (Here's me and my big belly.)



It ended up being a fun time for us. Seth is at the age where Christmas and fireworks are wondrous events, so it's mostly fun to watch his reaction to everything. We had gone to a fireworks stand earlier in the day (for the first time in Texas) and bought a tall cylinder box filled with kid-friendly fireworks. Before we went outside to light them, Josh was careful to explain to them the rules of safety and how to light the fuse and then run away and not to light anything without permission and to take turns and not to ask too many questions to drive us nuts and to be patient and what to do if a car comes... he's an Eagle Scout and takes his responsibility of protecting the family very seriously. Sometimes I roll my eyes because all of this takes time and I want to go, go, go, already! But in the end, I'm always glad that he takes the time to prepare them.

I was excited to go outside and take pictures with my new camera. Josh's gift to me was letting me get a Canon SD900 Power Shot Camera (refurbished from the Canon employee website--thanks to Sig, so we got it at a great price) along with a 4Gig SDHC Card (geek speak for super fast and lots of memory) on sale at Office Depot. It takes stills and video and fits in the palm of my hand. It's so cool! I have been wanting a camera like this since last Christmas because of its size and convenience. I figure I ought to get a camera that I'm willing to carry around. My big SLR and our medium-sized digital were just too big for me to "remember" to bring along. Now I can just have this camera in my bag and be ready to shoot over a 1000 pics before needing to download the card. Yeah, I hear ya... now I have to post more pics. Maybe I will--GOSH!

When we got outside, it was cold and windy. The first thing we did was play with snappers... the little white things packed in sawdust that when thrown on the ground they explode in little snaps and sparks. Those are very kid-friendly. Sarah said, "Make me dance!" and the boys were throwing them at her feet so that she could dance around like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Seth went so far as to throw one at a passing car. I had to yell "No!" and "Absolutely Not!" and he smiled his wide and happy smile while saying "Yes, Mommy." The little punk. He was having so much fun.



Then we lit sparklers. Seth ran around like a crazy person yelling threats and curses like it was a wand (thanks Harry Potter). I got a picture of them holding their lit sparklers high. When we started to get into the bigger stuff, the fireworks were mostly comical. Not anything close to the level of spectacular that we would have seen had we gone to our friends' house. But we didn't spend very much money--it feels too much like lighting dollar bills one by one to me--so we got what we paid for. Some of the flowers were duds, but we had bought extras of those and the individual ones are fresher than the stuff packed in combo boxes. My favorites were the little sunflower ones that when lit fly gently up into the air, change different colors, and last all of two seconds. We had lots of those. Bottle rockets are always fun, and the kids each got to light more than one. There was a little red car that burst into flame and then 10 seconds later let out a little scream like a siren. We laughed the hardest at the tanks that are supposed to go forward and shoot a few rounds. The last one flipped over and shot towards us. So it was mostly a comedy fireworks night where we were concerned.





The other streets in our neighborhood had a little more action going on. When midnight hit, the sky lit up (but my camera battery had died by then--we had played with the camera all day). It was nice that we could see and enjoy someone else's hard-earned dollars go up in flames. We finished off our supply of firecrackers, and then cleaned up the street.



Going inside was like walking into a warm oven. I had made chicken pot pie for dinner, so we warmed the house by baking and then Josh lit the fireplace (go Josh!). We still haven't turned on the heat. I hate turning on the heat in Texas. It's so not right when you spend the majority of the year sweating. In the mornings the thermostat reads somewhere between 63 and 71 degrees fahrenheit. The kids heat up a deer corn bag or bring their blankets out and then the day warms up and it's not so bad. It's not neglectful parenting... we're building character here!

The kids spent a little more time on the Wii before heading to bed. Another late night for them on vacation... we have to get them back on track in the coming days before school starts up again. They haven't been up before 9:30am in the last few days. Josh had fun waking them up this morning... his idea of a great way to start the new year is blasting Van Halen's 5150 album, specifically a song that yells "Get UP!" over and over again. Zack was up first, then Sarah wandered out with Toph hair, and then Josh had to actually go and get Seth and carry him out. We enjoyed our living room and listened to Van Halen, but actually we were having fun watching Daddy sing Van Halen and play air drums and air guitar.



Breakfast was cereal and milk--my favorite! We cracked open a fresh box of Lucky Charms, and went for it. Josh just had his usual... ice cold Diet Coke. After that we opened a new Wii game that we got from Santa, Zelda Twilight Princess. Josh played and we all yelled instructions to him and gave ideas on how to solve different problems. It's a family game, for sure. I fell asleep after the first hour and half, though. When I woke up, Josh was cutting troll-looking monsters down.

We took a break for crackers, summer sausage and cheese that Josh's parents had sent. Apparently, Hickory Farms is the taste of the holidays for Josh. We added our own stuff, like pepperoni bites, cream cheese with raspberry chipotle sauce, ritz crackers, wheat thins, colby-jack cheese, and snowflake rolls with butter. We then dug into the Danish shortbread cookies and other goodies from the box that Josh's parents had sent. So much for watching my blood sugar, eh? (Not for too much longer, I hope!)



We decided that we should get outside for a bit. I took pictures of Zack riding his new razor scooter

and Seth trying to push his bike out which he doesn't know how to ride yet.


Sarah changed clothes about three times during the time we were out there. What is that about?

Then it was too cold for me, so I went in and shot video of Josh playing his Christmas gift, an electronic drum kit.





Now here I am blogging about our New Year adventures and figuring out how to post pics and vids for you. It's always a resolution for me to journal daily, but it usually doesn't last longer than a week, if that. Maybe this blog will change things... even if I just post a picture a day that I take with my new camera... that might work.

Or not... once baby comes, she will control my universe. I'll be nothing but a dairy cow and a walking zombie for lack of sleep. My mom and big bro are coming for the big event. They are really great at helping with babies and keeping the other kiddos entertained. It will be fun to have them after all the holiday stuff is over... I'm really loving my no-stress holiday season. I wonder what it would take to keep things this way for the entire year. That's a resolution worth keeping up with, and that's what I wish for all of you! A no-stress, happy new year!