My Nephew Is Here!

My oldest younger brother, Robert, had a baby today! My little nephew was actually pretty big at 10 pounds 0 ounces and 21 inches long. He came into the world at 3:41 this morning. His name is Devon which is the name Rob and Dalena chose from the beginning even after I gave them the spectacular suggestion of Bryden. I wanted to call him Bry which would be cool because it's not short for Brian--way too common a name. Dalena named her first son Aslan, so you know Bryden wouldn't be too weird for them. Oh, well. I guess I can just call him Dev or Vonny. They'll probably just call him Little Robert.

Proto - Zoe

She's three weeks old and finally had her first bath! That's not to say that we didn't clean her up with sponge baths--we're not like that psycho German family that Susie used to nanny for who didn't plan to bathe their baby until it turned one--but her umbilical cord fell off this past week giving us the freedom to stick her all the way in the water. She wasn't a huge fan, but did smile when I dribbled that first bit of water on to her body. So I yelled for Sarah to get Daddy to bring the camera and once he had the camera on, she cried through most of the recording. Not going to post it... got her modesty to protect, you know, but I do love the way newborn hair sticks up all over the place when it's clean. So I had to post this picture. I love the way she's crossing her legs, too.

Bridge Fest

A new family tradition was created today when we participated for the second year in a row in the YMCA Bridge Fest. It's a 5K Run/Walk that was started (16 years ago) to commemorate the building of the Lake Houston Parkway Bridge which connects Atascocita and Kingwood. They close one side of the bridge, make the other side a two-way road, and then we can run over the bridge and back to the YMCA in relative safety. I didn't run, however, but walked at my snail's pace... dead last... until I saw the water and then decided that it was enough strain on my stitches and turned around. I let the kids run to actually get on the bridge and then come back. Seth was more interested in playing in the brush on the side of the road that eventually led to the lake's waters. They were happy to be outside, but probably felt kind of cheated this morning and the 5K race didn't really mean much to them.

There are little kid races (much shorter distances) starting at 8:00am, and my three older children would have run in their own age division at different times. BUT we didn't get there until about 9:00am when the 5K started. So... they were all kind of bummed, but had fun running up ahead of me and then back to me, over and over again. While I don't have any cool pictures that I anticipated taking of them on the starting line of each of their races, I was glad that I still took them to participate in the 5K because they seemed to enjoy being outside anyway. The free balloons, bananas, water, bagels, and juices back at the YMCA after the race was a big hit, too.

So why were we late? We even scored a parking pass to park at the YMCA (highly coveted item only given to the first 100 sign ups), but weren't able to use it because you have to get there by 7:30am. I was looking forward to eating free Wendy's chili (they're one of the sponsors) before the race, too. Who is to blame? Why, the controller of the universe, Zoe, of course.

When a new baby comes into your life, it's all about the new baby. If she's hungry, you stop everything and feed her. If she cries, you adjust your schedule. If she wakes up, you stop what you're doing to take care of her. If she poops or spits up, you clean it up. If she wakes up every 15 minutes from 2am to 5am... you deal with it... and cry like a baby yourself when she won't go to sleep. The postpartum depression doesn't help to keep you far from tears, either, and how can you not have postpartum depression with all the hormones receding from your system?

So I had my 3 hours of sleep eventually, but we were late getting to the Bridge Fest. And then, once we got to the Bridge Fest, I had to feed baby in the car before we could actually cross the street and join the crowd. Once we did cross the street, we heard the gun shot and saw the runners taking off in front of us... so we waited for the hard core runners to pass us, and then joined the rest of the strollers near the back of the line. We didn't even start at the starting line, us cheaters... and holy cow, I just realized that I was in such a hurry that I didn't even brush my teeth before we left. Gross!

Count your blessings... if you didn't have to talk to me this morning. We did see a few friends. Some were in the race and some were just out running (crazy people!!). Everyone enjoyed seeing Zoe being the perfect angel... all snug and cozy in her stroller, ASLEEP at last.

So next year, Zoe will be a year old and hopefully will not ruin the perfect day at Bridge Fest where I get to eat goodies before and after the race, get to take pictures of my kids running in the little kid races, and actually get to walk on the bridge at a faster pace without wincing.

You should come, too. It would be fun to walk with other families. Let me know if you want in on this tradition.

Flying Solo

My mom left today. She's headed for beautiful Hawaii to hang out with her sister for the weekend and then she'll be back on a plane for Guam. She has come out like this for every one of my children when they were born, but this time she didn't stay for a whole month, just a couple of weeks. It was noticeably different, but I'm just glad that she came at all.

So today is my first day flying solo during the day while my husband is at work. It's not totally solo because he still takes the kids to school every morning and gets the mail and does the grocery shopping and leaves the kids with the fear of fire and brimstone if they don't do their chores or bug me in any way while he is gone. And also all the kids are home sick with some kind of congestion or cough, but they're still good for running to get me things around the house.

Even Zoe is a bit snorty, but she's still able to nurse, thank goodness. I've never had a breastfed baby get sick so soon, but then again, I've never had so many kids going to school when I've had a baby. Clearly, the antibodies in breast milk are not a flawless protection from illness, but I still think that she would be way worse if she were not breastfed.

I'm happy to say that I haven't cried out in frustration once. Zoe has remained true to her current routine of waking up every four hours to eat. She has stayed asleep every time I have put her down, and I am still able to take care of my other kids. AND I'm off my heavy medication... last night I was four hours late taking my pill and didn't notice, so I think I'm OK to stop taking them until I feel like I need one. So far. so good.

My visiting teachers came by and brought dinner and cookies and a gift. I'm lucky that one of them is a nurse who actually takes care of newborns in the hospital where she works. She is the one that informed me that the reason why Zoe got formula for her first meal in the nursery is because she was a big baby... when babies are 8 pounds 9 ounces or bigger their blood sugar can drop dramatically after they come out of the mommy, so the nurses just give them a little bit of formula to keep their blood sugar up. She used some fancy word for this, but I don't remember what it was.

For those of you who don't know, visiting teachers are a couple of ladies who are members of the Relief Society (largest and oldest women's organization) who come to your house each month to visit you. They prepare a short gospel lesson, ask how they can serve you, and report back to the Relief Society on how you're doing. It's a way to watch and care for each member of the Relief Society, and it's fun to get visits or phone calls and little reminders that you are loved and cared for.

I love visiting teaching because when I am given certain sisters to visit it gives me the opportunity to be friends with women I may not normally be friends with. I once visited a lady 50 years older than me and we became emailing buddies. She would give me advice from her vast experience of living, and I would astound her with my great listening abilities. Seriously, have you ever noticed how listening gets you the highest praise? You become the best person in the world because you listen and care. I'm glad for the opportunity to make friends in this way and it's fun to serve!

Susie isn't my visiting teacher, but already a good friend who happens to be a really good cook. She has brought us dinner twice already and plans to do it again tomorrow night. There's no stopping her. She's amazing. The first night she made a yummy Monterey Chicken and Rice Casserole and the second night she brought Stuffed Shells. And don't forget kolache rolls and Banana Split Cake. YUM! Susie also brought a teddy bear and candy to me in the hospital.

All the grandparents in Port A/Corpus sent yellow roses to us in the hospital--yellow roses are extra special in Texas. Josh's work sent mini roses in the mail... that was really cool. They are so pretty, too. My other visiting teacher brought homemade bread and a big bouquet of flowers shortly after we got home from the hospital.

My friend Ruth Ann brought dinner last night... very simple... spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread, salad, green beans, and snickerdoodles. Seth ate two plates worth. I'm not sure if it's because it was right up his alley or if he's feeling better from being sick... probably both. The thing that gets me is that Ruth Ann has six kids... and she still brought dinner to us in the storming rain... that just humbles me.

Our old friends, the Bowens, brought dinner on Saturday... Spinach and Cheese Manicotti was a hit... funny how we are getting lots of pasta dishes. They are my favorite and I haven't been doing a lot of pasta for dinner lately because Josh isn't as fond of pasta as I am... but he has enjoyed the different variations we've received in the past week or so, we may yet convert him. Brooke and Justin also brought Christmas gifts and more baby gifts. They also drove over an hour to get to our house. Talk about devotion! We love you, man!

And finally, the Relief Society president in our ward brought dinner, too, on short notice. Not only that, but she made Chicken Enchiladas, salad, lemony poppy muffins, and brownies all on the same day that she was leaving to go out of town. How's that for dedication?

All of these examples of service leave me grateful for people who live their religion... they do it out of love for their God... that's the bottom line. I mean, I know I'm a likeable person, but it's the love of the Savior Jesus Christ that motivates them. And again, it's fun! Doing a service for others is good for your heart and makes you feel good. And I really needed this.

At first, I gave everyone the impression that we could handle everything and we didn't need anything, but I was surprised by my need to depend on someone to give just a little bit of relief when we first got home. If I had not had the weird experience I had on my first night of coming home, I don't think I would have asked for help. I'm glad that I did, and I'm glad that people responded.

THANK YOU!!

Yeah, I'm not really flying solo at all, am I?

1 Week Anniversary

I am not ashamed to say that today I slept through the anniversary hour of our baby's arrival into this world one week ago today. That's the perfect way to celebrate, I think. Especially since I have not slept this many hours at once in my own bed for the entire week (three whole hours!!).

At 12:57 PM last Saturday I was alert and viewing everything happening around me with awe. The first thing that was different about this whole experience was that I walked to the OR. Who does that? For my past three c-sections, I have been drugged and prepped and wheeled to the OR for surgery. I have had psychedelic dreams (seriously, light show and all) while under the influence and barely able to keep my eyes open for when the baby makes it to the outside of my body. In this instance, the scary thing was not being unaware of what people were doing to take care of me, but being all too aware of what they were doing to me. I didn't know if I wanted to be able to take in so much information. What if I couldn't take it? The room I walked into was large with windows on one end, equipment in the center of the room, and just about everything was white. I kept fighting the feeling to slow down... we were really going to just go for it.

The nurse who had admitted us was there to help me keep me still when I got the epidural. She had been carrying around what I had thought was her purse, but she laughed and informed me that it was my "purse" which contained Demerol and would be my epidural pump. I learned that I would keep my epidural in until my last day in the hospital. That was also a new thing for me. I didn't know you could do that. I even had a "clicker" for when I felt I needed extra medication. I could click the button once per hour and get an extra dose of Margaritaville. Erroneously, I thought that I was supposed to click the button every hour or else I would get nothing... so the first couple of days, until it was reiterated to me that medicine was constantly being fed through my epidural, I was pretty loopy. I stopped clicking altogether because within minutes, I would be asleep or be dozing in the middle of a conversation with Josh. The nurse said that it would not make me as drowsy since the meds wouldn't be going into my blood stream, and my doc said it wouldn't make me drowsy, but the clicker and my own experience taught me that lah lah land was not too far away once I clicked the clicker.

So I'll spare you the details of the epidural... suffice it to say that my husband could not be in the room and the nurse said I had a pretty good grip on her arm. I think I probably should have said sorry at that point, but I don't think I did. I was too busy being tilted on my head by the anesthesiologist (going to shorten it to anes from here on out) who was trying to speed things up. They just kind of lie you on the table, flip up your gown over the wire that keeps you from seeing past your chest, and then everybody gets down to business. It's a weird thing to be so exposed and not have anybody react as they would in a different setting. I think I was being shaved when the doctor walked in and said hello... it was strange, strange, strange! He then said hello to everybody, introduced me to his assistant, did a little pep talk to the group, and then they all continued about their business. The anes was the main communicator and he was very high spirited... like a motivational speaker... and he was constantly reassuring me about how things would happen and they wouldn't do anything without informing me first. The nurse stepped out to get my husband and he was equally impressed with the room and then they really did just go for it.

Josh was very excited to be able to get most of everything that happened on video. He even got her being pulled out of my belly and taking her first breath. That kind of stuff just thrills him. I don't think he got that on any other child and I don't think he actually saw them come out of me except for maybe Zack. He was very excited throughout the whole thing. I remember everything clearly. I even remember the way it smelled when they started to cut me open with a kind of hot knife. Josh was really impressed. I would rather not talk about it. Give me a few more months.

On my first c-section, my mom reminds me that no one could come near me. I didn't remember that. I wouldn't let anyone touch me and to talk about it brought tears to my eyes and I had to leave the room. It was a very traumatic experience. So different from this last one. Talk about progress, both in medicine and in my own attitude and experience.

In previous deliveries, I was mostly in lah lah land and would wake up in another part of the hospital not knowing how or when I got there. The one thing I always remember, however, is the first sounds my babies make when they come out. That first cry invokes deep feelings of love and wonder and it's the only time a cry does that to me. This part was the same this time, but I was able to see and hear clearly without the fog. And then they take the baby away and keep them for four hours. I didn't know that... and this time I was anxious to see her again. I kept asking Josh how much longer for the four hours to be up. Plus, we were just in recover waiting for a room to open up. We didn't know how long it would be. Josh even joked about going to find a lowly stable because we knew even before we went back to the operating room that there was no room at the inn.

We finally did get our private room, and Josh loaded me up with juices and water and ice chips from the patient fridge by the nurses station. He took really good care of me the first night. Oh, yeah, and another thing that was different was that they put these shin guard things on your legs, plug them in, and they squeeze like a blood pressure thingy. Back and forth, over and over again... it's to help with your circulation. It was getting really annoying after the first day, and then when they took them off, Josh gave me the best scratch. Oh! Just remembering it makes the endorphins flow! My husband really stepped up this time, and I draw a lot of strength knowing he's thinking about me and my welfare. I sometimes forget that he is going through a lot along with me... I don't know if I could handle seeing him go in for surgery every time to grow our family, but he handles it very well.

My mom is a big help also. She's like a soldier, standing ready and willing to burp baby, change diapers, and hold baby until she sleeps. She's will wake up no matter the hour and do this over and over again. Just today, when Zoe decides that she's a big seven days old and no one can tell her to sleep if she doesn't want to but she really wants to sleep and if mommy could just keep nursing her every hour all will be well... my mom took her and told me to go shower. Man, that was the best shower ever! If I were by myself, I probably would have broken down and cried at that point. (The baby crying thing only invokes wonder on the first minute of the first day of delivery and then the honeymoon is over. You moms know what I'm talkin' 'bout.)

So I'm feeling good today... rested... clean... blogged... and looking forward to getting another week under my belt. My tummy will go down more, the nursing thing is already getting easier, and the true test of new parenthood will ensue with my mom returning home in five days' time. In one more week I'll be able to see that I can do this. That Heavenly Father designed incredible bodies. That time does heal.

Thanks to all who said a prayer, had a thought, spoke out loud, or brought gifts (food and otherwise) for us during this time. It is really nice to have family and friends to share this experience with!

And Joyeux Anniversaire au Zoe! We're happy you're finally here!

Zoe-Zo

Seth already has a nickname for Zoe. When he came home from school the first day after we got home, Nana Koko opened the door and he said, "How's Zoe?" It tickles me how all the kids come home and just look for her. They want to touch her and hold her and play with her (which doesn't always bode well for a Guamanian grandmother who takes her job seriously). They jump at the chance to help change her or watch her, and I imagine that Zoe will grow up always having a crowd around her watching her every new move.

And then just the other day Seth was talking to Zoe and calling her Zoe-Zo. I think it was when it was bedtime and he said, "Goodnight Zoe-Zo." The name has stuck in my head. Now when I try to wake her up to eat (because breastfeeding is the only self-inflicted pain I am motivated to engage in) I sing silly songs to her and that's what I call her.

Come to think of it... I use other Sethisms with her. Seth used to come into my room to wake me up and say, "Mommy, wake up. It's gebbup time." I tell Zoe the same thing now when it's time for her to get up. "Wake up, Zoe-Zo! It's gebbup time!" And then I follow that with pleas to help Mommy and deep breathing exercises just before she latches on.

She comes through for me most of the time. We've almost got the boobs trained... and hope that they get a clue to calm down because they're only feeding Zoe and not an army. Zoe has got the latch on thing down pat and it doesn't hurt so much when we do the football hold on one side and then regular hold on the other. Still, if I were a cartoon, you'd see me hitting myself over the head with a giant wooden hammer at the start of each nursing session. And then I do it all over again every 2-3 hours. That's true love, people.

Now a minute for my commercial sponsor... (not really, but it's going to sound like one). My Mom found a bracelet in the stash of things that she brought from Guam from my Auntie Bobbie Bobo. She's the auntie that has brainwashed all my kids to answer her name when they are asked, "Who's your favorite auntie?" Anyway, she's delighted to add another victim to sing her praises... and lucky for me, she has had two grandbaby girls in the last year... so Zoe scored a lot of stuff... Thanks Auntie Bobbie! (And cousins Nicole and Corine.)

OK, so back to the bracelet. It's called a milk band and it's made of rubber. There are two sets of holes running down it and one side is labeled from 1 to 12 and the other 5 to 60 (by fives). There are two pegs to place into the holes which look like little barbels. You have to pull and stretch the bracelet to get the pegs in. One side of the bracelet says "RIGHT" and the other says "LEFT". It helps you keep track of when you last fed baby and what side you ended on. I LOVE this thing!

Pre-bracelet, at practically every feeding I had to ask my mom what side I was on. Both boobs are equally engorged, but if given the wrong one first and Zoe decides to sleep, then I'm doomed. It's an important thing to alternate them accurately. Now I just look at the bracelet like it's a watch (and it's probably the only time I really care about at this stage of the game) and I can see how long it has been since I last fed baby. So when I work up the courage to feed baby again, I just flip the bracelet after one side, move the pegs and then I don't have to think about it anymore. It's great! The less things I have to think about under the influence of pain medication is a load off my back.

I checked out the website: www.milkbands.com and if you go there you'll see that they have improved on their design and they now use sliders. I guess it got to be a pain replacing pegs... so they got something that just stays on the bracelet. But half the challenge for me is making sure I don't drop the peg. It's like having a built-in game... and so far I'm winning. Anything to help improve post partum morale is a bonus. So my bracelet is vintage. I think mine is more decorative, too, with the pegs sticking out like cloves in a ham, only prettier.

Psyche!

She is still on the inside.

Remember the 80's? And the movie Sixteen Candles? The part where they are all getting in the car to go to the wedding and it's chaos with everyone changing places and getting in and out of the car until they are finally all in makes me a little stressed out just watching them. And then they pull out of the driveway only to discover Long Duck Dong on the grass and they all get back out of the car again. It makes me laugh because you know it's going to take them forever to all get back in the car.

We resembled that part of the movie today... a little. Mom and I went out to install the carseat, the kids followed, then my brother and then Josh. We had the base of the carseat in with locking clip finally installed (those things are tough to get on). And then we put the stroller in the back with the carseat on top because we discovered that the carseat was too big to fit behind the driver's seat. So we had to take the base out. And then we tried to decide if we should take two cars or not. Josh won because he's always about having options and having two cars would allow him the option of leaving if he had to go and get something for me later. His decision saved us today, but I'll get to that.

So we decided that it was worth the parking fees to have both cars. And then we decided who would ride with him, and it ended up being Sarah (after she had just gotten in a little fight with Seth over who would get to sit where). Then there was the question of whether or not I should drive, and I won that one by just getting in the driver's side. Then Josh had to document everything with the camcorder. He said he would follow me, so at last I put the key in the ignition and backed out. I drove down the street and then stopped because he wasn't following. In my rear view mirror I watched him finally put the camcorder away, then get in the car, and then then get out of the car and go inside the house. Finally, when he was ready and back in the truck, we were able to get a move on.

The drive down was uneventful and traffic was good. I made sure that my brother was paying attention so that he would know how to get there. We were able to get parking spots right near each other (which isn't important since we were going to stay and they weren't, but it was still nice). We wandered around the first floor of the hospital looking for admitting... never having been told to go straight to the third floor to Labor and Delivery. We took the elevators farthest from where we ended up, but once we got there we were greeted by a nice nurse. She said that I could take one person with me and that I had to kiss everyone else good-bye right then and there. So I started hugging and kissing my kids and doing exactly as I was told.

Josh and I went our way, and they went their's (but my brother did come back later because I forgot to give him the keys to the van and the house). The first thing I did was get undressed and into the wonderful hospital gown that opens at the back. The nurse gave me a nice new pair of ugly brown socks to put on, too. Then I sat in a warm cozy chair and she hooked me up to the monitor. Baby's heartbeat was the background noise while I signed papers and she asked me questions and input everything into a computer. She even brought in an IV and was going to stick me with it eventually. But she asked the fated question instead... "Did you eat anything today?" I sure did... I ate the One-Eyed Egyptian that my husband lovingly made for me. "What time was that?" Just before we came, around 11am. She stopped and said that she would need to check with Anaesthesia before we could continue. She said that they had sent a lady home because she had had a glass of milk within 8 hours of surgery.

Josh and I were like, "Doh!" We thought we were old pros at this, but forgot that one detail about not eating before surgery. To be fair, the doctor's office failed to remind me and that's probably why the doc wasn't mad at us... he shared the blame. We braced ourselves for the news, and I was a little disappointed at first. And then I was relieved because I had originally wanted to schedule the surgery for Saturday, but they wouldn't let me. And I was a little worried about an afternoon c-section and would rather do it in the morning. Well, that's exactly what I'll be getting. I'll be going in tomorrow at 10am and this time I am not supposed to eat or drink anything after midnight.

Honestly, I wasn't ready today. I was tired. I had wanted to get a good night's rest, but had stayed up playing Rummikub with my mom and brother. We were having fun and I told myself that I would get rest when I was drugged up, but maybe I had put myself at a disadvantage for a better recovery.

Now I can get the rest I need and for Zoe's last day inside we went shopping at Fry's. It's a good thing that we had the truck because we met everybody at the Whataburger outside Fry's, ate lunch, and then went shopping. Nana bought the kids a new Wii game, Raymond Raving Rabbids 2. We got a new router, a DVD drive/recorder for my computer, and another guitar for Guitar Hero III... (Sarah and Josh are getting ready to battle for the first time as I type). Josh was trying to get a second guitar for a long time, but couldn't find them anywhere. He was shocked to see one sitting on the shelf and guarded it with his life or put it in Sarah's care to guard with her life for the rest of the time we were there. We thought it was the last one, but we saw a few others later on in a different area. Josh is very happy (and they're having fun now). Today was a great day.

I'm especially glad because now I have less to visualize... today was like a trial run. Now we don't have to do the Chinese fire drill to get into the car. Josh and I can leave everyone at home, and everyone can come when it's time to see baby later. My bro now knows the way. The kids can hang out with Nana and Uncle Doo in comfort.

So all of you that were expecting a call and didn't get one... we apologize! We will call you tomorrow!