Friday, September 14, 2007

The Daddy Rocks

Sometimes Moms can let things go with their kids... Daddies hardly ever do that.

Well, the good daddies don't anyway.

I was listening to Dave Ramsey while working and a caller asked him what the title was of a book that he had recommended. He went on and on about one of the best books he has ever read called "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Meg Meeker, M.D. So I Googled the book title and the first link through Google Book Search had excerpts from the book. I strayed from my work long enough to read the beginnings of many chapters. I wanted to get the gist of it to see if maybe Josh could benefit from it in his relationship with Sarah and his other daughter soon to come into the world.

Chapter One is "You Are the Most Important Man in Her Life". It's funny how that title strikes me... there's power in those words. We may all assume it to be true, but having it flat out stated makes me look at the idea in a new light. I went on to read how daughters need a hero and someone who will protect them by saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done. Dr. Meeker talked about how embarrassed she was when her father called the restaurant where she was out on a date when she did not come home on time. She later recognized it as a way of protecting her.

Sarah isn't of dating age, but lately she has been displaying some weird speech habits. I noticed it mostly when she was with her friends, and it's weird to see them all act exactly the same and sound exactly the same. So I kind of let it go, thinking that it's just a phase. Plus, I don't always trust my ears even with my hearing aids in. Well, Josh has been bringing it up lately because he's the sound guy and everything and anything that is dissonant grates on his ears. Tonight it got pretty heated because he was trying to tell her not to talk that way and she was being disrespectful by talking back and acting like he didn't know what he was talking about. At one point he told her that she had developed a bad habit and he would not let it go.

And then she got all blubbery and upset because she feels like her parents don't understand her. So I'm watching my child cry and my husband not letting it go, and while it's hard to see her cry because of the words coming out of his mouth, I could not help but support him. He is doing her a favor by pointing out to her a bad habit and giving her good advice about how to fix it. This is a form of caring and protecting and using words that she may not appreciate right now, but if Dr. Meeker's book is right, he will help mold her into her best self. I really admired him for doing what he did tonight. He wants to raise her right and I appreciate his role in her life and how he is taking responsibility for it. I would not want to be the daddy, so we make a good team.

It all ended well with hugs and I love you's and that's really what Sarah will take away from this. So when I read "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" (got it requested at the library), I think I might just find that Josh is already doing what he should to raise a strong daughter.

3 comments:

Josh Haley said...

Thanks babe! you're not so bad yourself!

Stewartville est. 1995 said...

AWW!
LOVE IT.
UMM HEY, WHERE'S THE TRICIA FAN CLUB?

ME AND JOSHEROO ARE THE ONLY COMMENTERS?

WHERE ARE KRISTEN PINES AND BETTY SPAGHETTI?

IS THIS A PRIVATE BLOG JUST FOR ME TRISH?

THANKS FOR THE STORY. YOU KNOW I THINK THE HARDEST PART ABOUT PARENTING IS THAT THEY JUST WON'T GET IT UNTIL THEY ARE PARENTS...SO YOU HAVE TO WAIT 10-15 YEARS TO GET THE PAYOFF IN THE WAY OF "THANK YOU"

I JUST LOVE YOU TRISH....BROOKIE BOO WAS ALL OVER YOU YESTERDAY. BOY SHE IS GONNA HATE YOUR BABY!
(SHE IS THE JEALOUS TYPE, UH OH!)

Trish said...

Thanks Suz. Glad that somebody is reading it. It's not private, though. I'm putting it all out there. I am not sure if Kristen has been by, but I did send her the link. And Betty just thinks I write too much. By the time she's done reading it, she's probably getting interrupted to take a child off the top of a bookcase or something. Also, she's pregnant, so you can pretty much do anything while you're pregnant and not be held accountable. Isn't that a baptismal clause somewhere? Or maybe that's just the gospel according to Josh. And boy do I milk it sometimes.

Hey, I love Brooklyn! I worked hard to break down the Great Wall of China around her heart, and I'll enjoy every hug and kiss she gives me. I think she'll be a little mommy to my Zoe, but she might get into fist fights with Sarah, Zack and Seth in the process.

OK, see? Who leaves these long comments on their own blog?